Monday 11 May 2015

Waffle, waffle, chirp, chirp. It's blog week! ARGH!

I am officially useless at keeping my blog page up to date. For someone who can talk people to sleep, you would have thought that I'd have enjoyed using this as an outlet to, well, bore you lot instead of all my long-suffering family and friends. However... that hasn't been happening.

Let's see if we can change that, shall we?

It turns out that I'm not very good at all this book release and self-promotion stuff, which is a bit of a major bummer considering that approx 80% of this business is just as much about harping on about yourself and selling your "image" to the world as it is about the actual words you've written. At least, that's the way it seems most days.

And I'm not even complaining about it, actually, not one little bit. Just more explaining how this is where I stumble a hell of a lot. Instead of taking to my Facebook, Twitter and TSU without thought or regard for anyone else, I tend to sit back and cringe at my own page. I write posts then delete them thinking why would anyone want to know that you just got half a Dorito stuck up your nose? I look at my profile picture and face palm, trying to ignore the way the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention because, for the 726th time that day, it's caught my eye and I've realised what an actual prize prat I look sticking my tongue out at the world. Should I post this, say that? That might offend somebody. Oh crap, did I spell that right? I should probably get an editor for my social media posts. Shouldn't I? I dunno... I would ask someone, but I don't want to pester. Let's just not say anything. Yeah? Yeah. *nods at self*

Soooo... In other news, last week saw the release of my third book, Without Mercy. This is my second co-authored novel alongside the amazingly talented L.J. Stock (and I can guarantee you now, it most absolutely will not be our last. We have waaaaaaaay too much fun being creative together to ever give that up) for the Babylon series. Without Consequence received some amazing feedback, and from what we've heard back from bloggers, betas, and those incredibly unbias family and friends, Without Mercy is getting the same love, if not that little bit more.How that is even possible, I do not know, but there we are. We made it into the UK's top 100 bestseller list in Erotic Romance on just the first day of WM going live. Holy Moses. 

This week is our blog tour week with the girls over at Bare Naked Words. For those who don't know what a blog tour is... welcome to my world. Hahaha. No, only kidding. It's actually quite simple, but basically our book goes out to reviewers and during the five days that the tour is live, those reviewers take to all forms of social media to give their thoughts back on the arcs (Advance readers copies) we sent out to them. My next statement might be a bit of a shocker, but bear with me when I say...

Man, do I dread blog tour week.

I really do, and I'm sure Claire and Wendy over at Bare Naked Words will be the first to confirm that L.J. Stock and I are probably the most over anxious clients they have to deal with. (It's okay, gals, you can admit it. Haha) No amount of words can say how grateful we are to everyone that chooses to review our books, post their reviews to the world, puts a nice shiny five stars on Goodreads and Amazon, etc, but there are also no amount of words that will ever be able to express the absolute nauseating fear that it instills in us as two (newish) indie authors on the scene. 

L.J. once told me she feels like she's waiting on death row for public execution, and I think I told her just today that waiting for reviews was on a par with sending my children off to school and knowing at some point, one of them was going to be bullied, and there was nothing at all I could do to stop it from happening. 

Drastic, right? 

Well, that's how much these worlds we create mean to us. I'm sure all the authors out there look as cool as cucumbers when they're thanking the world, but let me tell you, the majority (unless they're already raking in the squillions and don't really give two hoots what the world thinks while they're driving around in a nice shiny Aston Martin) are absolutely crapping themselves. At least I hope it isn't just us, or I'm in danger of making an epic mongoose of myself right now. 

To me, it's the strangest feeling. As an author of a new book, you have such faith, such belief and such a shit tonne of love for the characters and worlds that you create, you just know deep down in your heart of hearts that others deserve to share the magic. And you're proud of your shit, you know? There ain't any shame in that. Man... I've finished a book! Go me! But that doesn't strip away the fear - at least not for me, anyway. And let's face it, no matter how good your word baby is, there's some folk out there who just enjoy being a little bit nasty for the sake of being nasty. We're always going to get them and you know that the day they choose to read your book is the same day that they've just found their new dog chewing on their favourite shoe, or their husband dancing to Beyonce while wearing their expensive bra and knicker set. They're pissed, out for blood and you're in for it!

Gulp. 

So what's the whole point of doing it if it makes us feel so... worried? Right? 

Like I explained to a lovely blogger lady from BFDU earlier this morning, I honestly sometimes wish I had a choice about doing what I did, and in some ways I do have that choice. Everyone does. But writing chose me, I didn't choose writing, and this is all part of doing what we do. Creating worlds, shipping them out, rocking in a corner with worry until we end up talking to ourselves on a blog page just to get some clarity *winks and thumbs own chest* That's my life now, and I must have more masochist in me than I realised, because I bloody love it.  

I wouldn't change what I do for anything. It might not always be viable for me to write as much as I do, but I will always, always write. I will always complete my novels. I will always hit that publish button once I'm happy with my material. I will always push and push and push and push and push through those nerves and that self-doubt, no matter what happens. I will always try and be better, do better, act better.

Because, as corny as it sounds, I think this was where I was always meant to be... and I'm so lucky to have the most fabulous people by my side out in both the real and the virtual world. Especially those guys in my street team. Woah. They work so freakin' hard and their support is like magic medicine every time I'm/we're having a wobble. 

I guess what I really need to say is...

Bloggers, thank you for all that you do for us indie authors.
Readers, thank you all for trusting us with your hard earned pennies.
Writers, thank you for all the mutual support that goes around.
Corona... thank you for keeping me calm(ish).

And even though I'm not very good at the self-promotion - and I've definitely got a hell of a lot of work to do when it comes to self-belief - I am here. I plan on staying here for a while. And I appreciate how lucky I am to be where I am, even if where I am is only on the couch, sat in the living room of my modest home with two young boys attempting to hit my head repeatedly with a lightsaber while screaming 'Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Muuuuuuum!' with absolutely no regard for the fact that I/we've sent our other baby out into the world and are currently biting our nails down to the wick. 

It's kind of a cool place to be. :)

Have a good week, everyone. 

Vic x